Real Boaters

[mtnsmith]

This was in the latest Boat U.S magazine, I thought it was pretty funny. My comments are after the dash in each line.

Real Boaters-
1) Real boaters can pack 30 cubic feet of groceries in a 20 cubic foot refrigerator.-Well, I've had to do this on my parents boat as Tige does not offer a fridge yet...maybe in the RZ4???

2) Real boaters go to the boat show despite having used the last of their home equity to purchase a boat last year.-Luckily I have not done that...yet.

3) Real boaters know that you can get the "boat show discount" any time.-True.

4)Real boaters secretly cringe every time a guest walks into the head.-True again...only our Tige does not have a head, our sailboat did though.

5) Real boaters can grill 20 hamburgers PERFECTLY in five minutes...at night, in a hurricane, with a broken leg.-I prefer to apply this theory to grouper fillets.

6) Real boaters are perfectly satisfied eating crackers and Cheez Whiz for breakfast.-Mmmmm...Cheeez Whiiiiiz

7) Real boaters can climb a ladder with one arm.-Yeah, cause the other one has a cooler of beer in it!

8) Real boaters can slip a boat out of the middle of a six-boat raft up and re-tie without waking the four year old asleep at the stern.-No kids for me!

9) Real boaters never run out of ice, but have run out of gas atleast once.-Believe it or not, I have not run out of gas on the water, yet. But I did run my truck out of gas on the boat ramp, on a very busy saturday afternoon, with annnngry fisherman trying to pull-out all around so they could get to the weigh in for the redfish tournament. Boy was that fun!

10) Real boaters have secretly pondered the consequences of shooting someone with a flare gun.-Anyone seen "Adrift" with Nichole Kidman??? Not pretty, but to sound perfectly psychopathic, YEAH I have! Especially when the tenth drunk dude has stumbled over to my boat and attempted to board without permission and tries to dance with my wife...Good thing I don't have a flare gun on my boat!

Enjoy

[yllw20]

Have contemplated a paint ball gun....never a flare. I have almost been hit a couple times by lake lice. I think it would be a good deterant, but then you see all those kids who went to jail for shooting people out of cars.

[hoopykat]

I think the Coast Guard should implement a law where boaters can carry paint ball guns with distinctive color paint...and when a moron PWC rider does something stupid, you shoot him/her with the paintball gun, and when the law sees the offending rider, they get pulled over and given a citation for being stupid. We keep wishing to have some system like that for our ambulances when people won't pull over like they're supposed to. Cop sees a car with a paint splotch...cite 'em!

Wishful thinking....

Mike

[Tequilasun]

I think the Coast Guard should implement a law where boaters can carry paint ball guns with distinctive color paint...and when a moron PWC rider does something stupid, you shoot him/her with the paintball gun, and when the law sees the offending rider, they get pulled over and given a citation for being stupid. We keep wishing to have some system like that for our ambulances when people won't pull over like they're supposed to. Cop sees a car with a paint splotch...cite 'em!

Wishful thinking....

Mike

Years ago my buddy and I came up with similar idea. But our gun would shoot "I'm an idiot" stickers. The kind of sticker that the Highway patrol puts on Abandoned cars. Bright Orange, and with a glue that would be almost impossible to get off. That way whenever someone does something stupid, you can light them up with the I'm an Idiot stickers.

We figured the real problem would be finding a spot on some people that didn't already have a sticker.

[sparky216]

Have contemplated a paint ball gun....never a flare. I have almost been hit a couple times by lake lice. I think it would be a good deterant, but then you see all those kids who went to jail for shooting people out of cars.

Well there is a video of some dumbass redneck getting shot with a flare gun.....enjoy


http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/12999

[chpthril]

ROFLMAO...............talk about a MORON, hello Darwin Awards

[sparky216]

ROFLMAO...............talk about a MORON, hello Darwin Awards

For some reason when I was watching that I thought to myself, "I bet Chpthril will get a kick out of this".......no kidding

[zad0030]

Real boaters stay away from real waterskies/wakeboarders/tubers.

[Tequilasun]

Well there is a video of some dumbass redneck getting shot with a flare gun.....enjoy


http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/12999

FAKE

It did not start with that guy saying "Hold my beer...and watch this"

[my86stanggt]

That's funny right there.

[mtnsmith]

Real boaters stay away from real waterskies/wakeboarders/tubers.

So you're saying I can't be both??? Just this last summer I had our Tige 22v, a 21-foot Aquarius sailboat, a Hobie Cat 16, a 14-foot flats skiff, and a 16 foot canoe in my backyard. I consider myself quite the "Boater" as described by the list. I guess I just get all that from growing up on the water and in the water year round.