Post your best joke thread

[sparky216]

never seems to flow as well when you type it as opposed to saying the joke!!!

[G-MONEY]

I need one!!!!!

[G-MONEY]

Sorry ladies.......

[G-MONEY]

You Know You're Out Of College When...

1. Your salary is less than your tuition.
2. Your potted plants stay alive.
3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.
6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
7. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
8. 8:00a.m. is not early.
9. You have to file for your own taxes.
10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
11. You're not carded anymore.
12. You carry an umbrella.
13. You learn that "Bachelor" is a nicer term for a jackass.
14. "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary, which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
15. "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid, and not married.
16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up, and divorce instead of break-up.
17. You start watching the weather channel.
18. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
21. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
22. You go to parties that the police don't raid.
23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
24. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
25. Your car insurance goes down.
26. You refer to college students as kids.
27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.

[G-MONEY]

Man Pisses in a Shot Glass

A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends. A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender,'' I'd like to make a bet with you.'' The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a betting mood.''

So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can piss in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up and not spill a drop. The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.''
So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts pissing. He doesn't even get a drop in. He pisses all over the place. In the bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything.

After he was done pissing, the bartender laughed and said, ''You owe me $1,000.'' The man paid the money with a big smile on his face. The bartender asked, ''How come you're so happy?'' The man replied, ''You see those five guys over there by the pool table? I bet them $500 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh about it.''

[talltigeguy]

A man walks into a bar and immediately notices this is not an ordinary bar. There is a tiny man playing the piano. He is standing on the piano bench and can barely reach the piano keys.

'this is not an ordinary bar' the bartender says.
'I noticed' says the man.
'In fact, I have a genie in the back, and for $500 you can get any wish you want' says the bartender.

Knowing that was a great deal the man lays out $500. The bartender tells him to go to the back and enter the 3rd door on the right. The man enters and finds a lamp. Sure enough, after rubbing the lamp, a genie pops out 'POOF' and says 'your wish is my command'.

"I wish for a million bucks" said the man.
'Go back to the bar and your wish will be granted' says the genie.

Soon after sitting at the bar, feathers start falling from the ceiling and there are ducks popping up everywhere. Angrily the man says: 'I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'.

The bartender says: Well, did you think I wished for a 10 inch pianist!

[my86stanggt]

A man walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots and starts downing them one right after another. The bartender asks why are you in such a hurry? The man says you would be too if you had what I got. The bartender asks what do you have? The man replied 75 cents.

[my86stanggt]

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in
the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

[Domsz06]

great jokes guys!!

[chpthril]

Steelers Fans

Do the Steelers need to get a quarterback with a shorter name? Browns Fan.........Steelers Fan.........You make the decision!

[G-MONEY]

[Tequilasun]

Why is that pile of mashed potatoes wearing Rothlisberger underwear?

[chpthril]

Election Poll

The Democratic National Committee is currently polling Americans through the internet to determine the electability of Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States in 2008.

If you would like to show your support for Hillary and encourage her to run for President of the United States in 2008 please add your name to the bottom of the list below and send it on. Please forward and don't break the chain. This poll has been circulating since 1/03/07.














1.

[G-MONEY]

NOW THAT'S FUNNY....

[Tequilasun]

http://www.ugoto.com/cartoons/special-olympics.html