Post your best joke thread

[LovinPowell]

Larry got yelled at by LP.....NAH NAH

that wasn't yelling.

THIS IS YELLING.

[Agent 86]

one more try

[LovinPowell]

finally a new page.

[Agent 86]

yippee

[balair]

How can I show this board to my kids with that.

Yeah you better not go to the PW thread....it's bad

[chpthril]

Well, we all know how he feels about the American flag, so he's sure to like this

[Fast1911]

Yeah you better not go to the PW thread....it's bad

That's cause Sparky hangs out over there......

[samw]

LOL

[talltigeguy]

> A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take
> the dog for a walk around the block?' Mom replies,
> 'No, because she is in heat.'
>
> 'What's that mean?' asked the child.
>
> 'Go ask your father. I think he's in the
> garage.'
>
> The little girl goes to the garage and says,
> 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I
> asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to
> you.'
> Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He
> took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the
> dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said
> 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the
> leash and only go one time round the block.'
>
> The little girl left and returned a few minutes
> later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked,
> 'Where's Belle?'
>
> ( YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! )
>
> The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas
> about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her
> home.'

[larryueckert]

> A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take
> the dog for a walk around the block?' Mom replies,
> 'No, because she is in heat.'
>
> 'What's that mean?' asked the child.
>
> 'Go ask your father. I think he's in the
> garage.'
>
> The little girl goes to the garage and says,
> 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I
> asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to
> you.'
> Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He
> took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the
> dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said
> 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the
> leash and only go one time round the block.'
>
> The little girl left and returned a few minutes
> later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked,
> 'Where's Belle?'
>
> ( YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! )
>
> The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas
> about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her
> home.'

now thats funny

[jwanck11]

ROFL!

[talltigeguy]

When to start cussing...

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their
bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time
we started cussing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6
year old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say
something with hell and you say something with ***.' The 4 year old
agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6
year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mom, I
guess I'll have some Cheerios.'

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the
kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his
mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks
him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!'

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old
and asks with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young
man?' I don't know, he blubbers, 'but you can bet your fat *** it won't
be Cheerios!'

[chpthril]

Subject: Cat Problems


You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!
You don't even have to like 'em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bi-atch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat @$$ downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...

[LovinPowell]

Now that was funny. I'm always glad to see you posting on this site chp. Your posts always make me laugh.

[chpthril]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says:

Can you please come over here and help me. l have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and l just can't figure out how to get it started.

Her boyfriend asks, what's it supposed to be when it's finished? The
blonde says,well according to the picture on the box, it's a rooster. Her
boyfriend decides that he should do the right thing and go over and help her with the puzzle. When he arrives, she lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a second, and then he looks quietly at the box.

He states, first of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything of a rooster.

He held onto her hand and said, secondly, l advise you just to relax, have a cup of coffee, and he sighed, and then let's put all these Corn Flakes back into the box!