This is a long story about our family's past 3 + months. I lost my father on Monday Sept. 12th @ 10:45 PM.
Anyone watch the air disaster show where they chronicle a plane crash? In most every case, its not one thing that leads to the crash, but a series of events. Change or remove one domino, and the plane does not crash. Well, thats what it was with my father. It was a series of decisions or events. Altering just one, and he would still be here.
Why is this titled "PSA? Good question, ill get to it if you'll bare with me.
My dad was scheduled for a minor procedure on June 27 to have some tumors in his bladder, biopsied. Procedure went well and he was sent home with a catheter in for 3 days.
Later that night, while attempting to change close, day pulled the cath out and began bleeding all over the bathroom floor. Off the ER in the ambulance. Admitted to for 3 days and the cath was to now stay in for 10 days.
Now, prior to the original surgery, dad was told to stop taking his blood thinner. We dont know if or when, he was told to restart.
Sunday July 3rd, dad had a stroke. Off the ER in an ambulance again. Ill call it a mild stroke, but it certainly left its life changing mark. He had slurred speech due to drooping on the left of face, loss of use of left arm and leg. We knew this was going to require a long stay in therapy and still have effects for the rest of his life. Due to my parents house layout, we also expected he would have to go to an assisted living center because he could not navigate stairs and require more help them mom would physically be able to provide.
The ER was not able to administer a TPA for the clot. This was due to dad taking blood thinner. We did not know if he was back on the thinner or not. By time my wife drove back over to my parents house to check his pill tray, the TPA window had closed. The TPA could have lessened the effects of the stroke. This is getting to why this post is a PSA, more to come.
After about 10 days in the hospital, we was moved to a an aggressive rehab center for 2 weeks of therapy. He did really well there, making great progress.
The next step was a longer term skilled nursing center that would continue the therapy. This is where the last and final domino fell. 3 weeks in, he got Covid. Two days later, Aug 19, he was taken to the ER for trouble breathing. Due to his already compromised condition, covid resulted in pneumonia. Dad just could not shake the pneumonia. His strength declined, apatite declined, he got a bladder infection. So for the last week, we really just watch him slip away.
Dad had a DNR. So any medical procedure, such as a feeding tube, that he could not authorize himself due to his condition, encroached on the DNR.
He will be interned this Friday morning.
Now finally to PSA portion of this whole story. For the love of GOD be involved in your spouse's health. Know what meds they and why. Go to a medical consultation to be that 2nd pair of ears and to make sure all the questions get asked and answered. Sadly, my mother was not involved in dads heath care.
At 85, my dad should not have had this procedure. If he was going to die of bladder cancer, it would have been years down the road. If mom had been there prior to the surgery, she may have questioned its need.
The original procedure was not to biopsy a tumor, but to actually remove them. Dad didnt have the best hearing, so we dont know if he misunderstood or just didnt hear what the procedure was actually going to be. Again, no one was with him in the consultation.
We would have also known when he was due to restart taking the blood thinner. This would have likely prevented the stroke.
My dad was a prideful man, like most of us. He did not want anyone to help him change that evening after the procedure. If he had let someone assist, we would never had pulled the cath out.
One bright moment in all of this is that we did not take covid into his rehab room. It either came in through the air duct or by a double-masked staff member. We all tested negative twice and had no symptoms.
Besides losing dad, the worst part of this was that Aug 26 was my parents 61ts anniversary. Mom only got a short visit with him, as he was back in the hospital with covid. Prior to the covid, I was working on getting dad a day pass out of the rehab to go home for a few hours. Wife and i were going to cook them lunch on the 26th. This was dads idea and was going to be a surprise to mom.
Dad lived a good life. He raised three great children. Had 5 grand children. He was able to see 2 graduate collage, a 3rd attend his alma mater, the University of Wyoming. He was able to see his oldest grandchild, our son, get married last year at Ocean Isle Beach, NC.
Dad was cremated. I asked for a small keepsake ern for myself. Sometime next year, we are going to make a trip out west and place some of his ashes on the UWO campus and on his moms, dad's and brother's graves, which are all buried in Boise ID.
This has been a very long 3 months. Many here know what I do for a living and how seasonal it is. In order to spend as much time visiting and helping dad, and helping mon (she doesnt drive anymore), I basically stepped away from the shop for three months.
In closing, ill say it again. be involved. If you have older parents, be involved. Question medical procedures or have them get a 2nd opinion. Just like the air disaster show, alter one little event, and the outcome will be different.
Anyone watch the air disaster show where they chronicle a plane crash? In most every case, its not one thing that leads to the crash, but a series of events. Change or remove one domino, and the plane does not crash. Well, thats what it was with my father. It was a series of decisions or events. Altering just one, and he would still be here.
Why is this titled "PSA? Good question, ill get to it if you'll bare with me.
My dad was scheduled for a minor procedure on June 27 to have some tumors in his bladder, biopsied. Procedure went well and he was sent home with a catheter in for 3 days.
Later that night, while attempting to change close, day pulled the cath out and began bleeding all over the bathroom floor. Off the ER in the ambulance. Admitted to for 3 days and the cath was to now stay in for 10 days.
Now, prior to the original surgery, dad was told to stop taking his blood thinner. We dont know if or when, he was told to restart.
Sunday July 3rd, dad had a stroke. Off the ER in an ambulance again. Ill call it a mild stroke, but it certainly left its life changing mark. He had slurred speech due to drooping on the left of face, loss of use of left arm and leg. We knew this was going to require a long stay in therapy and still have effects for the rest of his life. Due to my parents house layout, we also expected he would have to go to an assisted living center because he could not navigate stairs and require more help them mom would physically be able to provide.
The ER was not able to administer a TPA for the clot. This was due to dad taking blood thinner. We did not know if he was back on the thinner or not. By time my wife drove back over to my parents house to check his pill tray, the TPA window had closed. The TPA could have lessened the effects of the stroke. This is getting to why this post is a PSA, more to come.
After about 10 days in the hospital, we was moved to a an aggressive rehab center for 2 weeks of therapy. He did really well there, making great progress.
The next step was a longer term skilled nursing center that would continue the therapy. This is where the last and final domino fell. 3 weeks in, he got Covid. Two days later, Aug 19, he was taken to the ER for trouble breathing. Due to his already compromised condition, covid resulted in pneumonia. Dad just could not shake the pneumonia. His strength declined, apatite declined, he got a bladder infection. So for the last week, we really just watch him slip away.
Dad had a DNR. So any medical procedure, such as a feeding tube, that he could not authorize himself due to his condition, encroached on the DNR.
He will be interned this Friday morning.
Now finally to PSA portion of this whole story. For the love of GOD be involved in your spouse's health. Know what meds they and why. Go to a medical consultation to be that 2nd pair of ears and to make sure all the questions get asked and answered. Sadly, my mother was not involved in dads heath care.
At 85, my dad should not have had this procedure. If he was going to die of bladder cancer, it would have been years down the road. If mom had been there prior to the surgery, she may have questioned its need.
The original procedure was not to biopsy a tumor, but to actually remove them. Dad didnt have the best hearing, so we dont know if he misunderstood or just didnt hear what the procedure was actually going to be. Again, no one was with him in the consultation.
We would have also known when he was due to restart taking the blood thinner. This would have likely prevented the stroke.
My dad was a prideful man, like most of us. He did not want anyone to help him change that evening after the procedure. If he had let someone assist, we would never had pulled the cath out.
One bright moment in all of this is that we did not take covid into his rehab room. It either came in through the air duct or by a double-masked staff member. We all tested negative twice and had no symptoms.
Besides losing dad, the worst part of this was that Aug 26 was my parents 61ts anniversary. Mom only got a short visit with him, as he was back in the hospital with covid. Prior to the covid, I was working on getting dad a day pass out of the rehab to go home for a few hours. Wife and i were going to cook them lunch on the 26th. This was dads idea and was going to be a surprise to mom.
Dad lived a good life. He raised three great children. Had 5 grand children. He was able to see 2 graduate collage, a 3rd attend his alma mater, the University of Wyoming. He was able to see his oldest grandchild, our son, get married last year at Ocean Isle Beach, NC.
Dad was cremated. I asked for a small keepsake ern for myself. Sometime next year, we are going to make a trip out west and place some of his ashes on the UWO campus and on his moms, dad's and brother's graves, which are all buried in Boise ID.
This has been a very long 3 months. Many here know what I do for a living and how seasonal it is. In order to spend as much time visiting and helping dad, and helping mon (she doesnt drive anymore), I basically stepped away from the shop for three months.
In closing, ill say it again. be involved. If you have older parents, be involved. Question medical procedures or have them get a 2nd opinion. Just like the air disaster show, alter one little event, and the outcome will be different.
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