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    ugh...ate way too much chili...trouble is a-brewin'

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      Long WA type post but I just copy and paste

      If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.

      Note: If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge # 3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
      Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."
      Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

      CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
      Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
      Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
      Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
      CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
      Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
      Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
      Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
      CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
      Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
      Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
      Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
      CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
      Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
      Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
      Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 400 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
      CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
      Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
      Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
      Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
      CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
      Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
      Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
      Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
      >> CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
      >> Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
      >> Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment! **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
      >> Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
      CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
      Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
      Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
      >> Judge # 3 - No Report
      "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail" John Wooden- Rest in Peace

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        haha that was awesome
        Here's to swimming with bow-legged women

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          Originally posted by Iwndr View Post
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TLNY...eature=related

          another one, I am like you though I do not know what they are doing for sure. But If we could only get our hands on that PCM manual we would know everything
          On these two videos the boats are jet boats like WAs first little boat. They have thrust reversers that dig into the water and act like speed brakes. When you are going along at a good clip, put it in reverse and give it gas, the jet drive then forces water through the thrust reversers and digs in the bow of the boat, ALOT.

          The guy in the MC submarine was trying to accomplish what the second video of the MC showed, how you can make the boat pivot around the bow. I have seen this at waterski shows and I'm sure someone from Fortes can tell you exactly what's going on but it looks like the guy cuts the wheel hard and puts the boat in reverse at the same time. It just looks like he gave it too much gas in reverse. When you are driving your boat at a good clip and pull the throttle back to idle very quickly you can feel the drag from the prop slow the boat down quickly. It probably feels normal to you but it feels like slamming on the brakes compared to how an I/O decelerates in a similar power pull. That rapid deceleration pushed the bow into the water and pitches the stern up in the air. If you combine that motion with a quick turn you can get the boat to pirouette on the bow and turn very quickly, hopefully without dunking the bow in the water. I have not seen that move attempted on open bows, I've only seen it on closed bow boats.
          2009 RZ2, PCM 343, MLA Surf Ballast, Premium Sound.
          2013 Toyota Sequoia 4WD W/Timbren SES

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            Originally posted by Iwndr View Post
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-wCt...eature=related

            there is another one Five I do not know how to embed the videos but I am sure some one is about to tell me
            No, but I will be happy to sell you the youtube service manual so that you may enlighten yourself with knowledge and crawl out of that pit of ignorance in which you reside.



            OK - really...click on the youtube button in the reply window. Between the YT brackets that appear, you want to paste only the string of characters that occur AFTER the = sign (and before the "&"). For example, the one you posted has the following between the = and & signs: D-wCtryPVu8

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              [QUOTE=dingleberry;451847]No, but I will be happy to sell you the youtube service manual so that you may enlighten yourself with knowledge and crawl out of that pit of ignorance in which you reside.



              OK - really...click on the youtube button in the reply window. Between the YT brackets that appear, you want to paste only the string of characters that occur AFTER the = sign (and before the "&"). For example, the one you posted has the following between the = and & signs: D-wCtryPVu8

              [/QUOTE

              Thank You
              Engineers are good
              "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail" John Wooden- Rest in Peace

              Comment


                I've spent the better part of my adult life loving spicy food, and chili in TX is very good. Although the green chili from NM is very good too. That is a funny and probably true story (10% true at least).
                2009 RZ2, PCM 343, MLA Surf Ballast, Premium Sound.
                2013 Toyota Sequoia 4WD W/Timbren SES

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                  Success
                  "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail" John Wooden- Rest in Peace

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                    venison chili is the best!! super spicy
                    Here's to swimming with bow-legged women

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                      OK, feeling a little better. Starting to release some of the building pressure. A bit at a time. Feeling sorry for the admin girl still in the trailer with me, though.

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                        ouchy
                        Here's to swimming with bow-legged women

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                          Originally posted by Iwndr View Post
                          Thank You
                          Engineers are good
                          Check this video out, think he's going to need a new rudder? And realign the prop shaft.

                          2009 RZ2, PCM 343, MLA Surf Ballast, Premium Sound.
                          2013 Toyota Sequoia 4WD W/Timbren SES

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                            post
                            2009 RZ2, PCM 343, MLA Surf Ballast, Premium Sound.
                            2013 Toyota Sequoia 4WD W/Timbren SES

                            Comment


                              refresh post
                              2009 RZ2, PCM 343, MLA Surf Ballast, Premium Sound.
                              2013 Toyota Sequoia 4WD W/Timbren SES

                              Comment


                                refreshing post
                                Here's to swimming with bow-legged women

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