Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable
lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults,
not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports
of a 6 -year- old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent
to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a
student; but could not
inform parents when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't
defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for
assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live,
after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She
spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My
Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable
lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults,
not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports
of a 6 -year- old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent
to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a
student; but could not
inform parents when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't
defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for
assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live,
after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She
spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My
Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.
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