Not so funny story

[malarson]

Last night we were out on the Snake River and the kids found a goose egg floating in the water. Against my better judgement I let them put it in a cupholder in the bow.
We played the rest of the afternoon and finally it was my turn to wakeboard. I was cruising along and I hear a loud POP! Then a lot of screaming. The boat shuts down and most of the occupants jumped into the river.
Turns out my oldest daughter was on her cell phone talking to her friend about how they had found a goose egg. The friend suggests that she should try to incubate the egg with something warm. Well, the warmest thing on the boat is the heater hose which they used to warm up the egg.
It burst open spewing stench, goo and feathers into the cupholder, on the upholstery, up the windshield and up the heater hose.
My daughter immediatly vomits into her cell phone, runs to the back of the boat and jumps into the water still holding her phone gagging and vomiting into the water that she's swimming in.
Four other occupants jump out of the boat and my friend Jake saves the day by grabbing the cupholder and tossing the rotten putridness into the river where everyone is swimming. Then the mad dash is on to get back in the boat and drive upwind.
In my 40 years of existence I have never smelled a more rotten, sulfur, vomit, diahrea, rotting flesh smell as that.
I've since cleaned up the mess but I think I'm gonna need a new heater hose.
True story!!

[dingleberry]

Wow...that's a new one! Definitely made for an interesting evening on the water.

So - how long will it be before anyone is willing to eat eggs for breakfast?

[Fit to be Tige]

That is by far one of the strangest stories ever told! Great picture.

[thtrog]

Sheeeew!....I can almost smell it!

[ragboy]

That is funny, great story. The vomit in the phone is the kicker. Then vomiting in the water.

[dogbert]

Thanks for sharing!

[yllw20]

thank good the vomiting didnt become contagious.
Great story. thanks for sharing

[laserfish]

That is a story that will last for years in the family. Not so funny when it happened but will be funny for a lifetime of memories.

[jbort]

I'm on the floor laughing - hilarious but glad it turned out ok.

[Tequilasun]

Remember in the Goonies when Chunk told the story of going to the theater and pouring beef stew on the floor and making vomiting sounds? That's how I pictured it.

This should have been a poll: funny vs really funny

[kko]

thats to friggin funny!! you tell a great story.

[scoot18]

Man it's a good thing I wasn't there, I would have def chucked my lunch/dinner, I can't do those kind of smells, very weak stomach I guess.

All of this talk about vomit and such reminds me of my youngest when he was about 4 or 5, we were vacationing in the Bahamas and had gone out on a snorkeling trip. We were all swiming around enjoying the fish and cool things under the water and all of the sudden he sucked in a big gulp of salt water (realy salty water) puked up his lunch and all of the fish came running, in seconds he was surrounded by fish eating his discharge, there were so many fish around him I could'nt even see him, he was surrounded by a swarm of fish. It was very entertaining to him because the fish were all right there, he immediately forgot about what had just happened and was all into the fish. Pretty cool.

[hoopykat]

Hahhahahahahaaa...I'm not laughing at you...I'm laughing with you....funny story!

It's amazing how just the sound of someone retching can trigger mass emesis. In 26 years, I have only ever puked once on a call, and it was deservedly so. We had a cardiac arrest....huge guy...and he must have just ingested 3 gallons of chicken noodle soup before he decided to check out. Of course it is all flowing up and out like Ol' Faithful as we are hauling his a$$ to the hospital. With each braking and acceleration his stomach contents are ebbing and flowing to and fro in the back of our hot, steamy ambulance. I figured he was dead anyways.....let loose! My partner was even worse than me.....it was a day to remember....NOT! You have my sympathy!

-Mike

[SPBFAN]

My whole family did not know what to say when I read the story. Sorry you have the smell and all the other things. I do have to say you made me laugh and the picture is great. Thanks for sharing.